Don't you wish you could do whatever?

Things haven't been working out for me lately. Hence is the break in my posts. I had so much to share yet so little courage to publish my drafts. I decided to slowly open up.

I sometimes want to withdraw and do something unrelated to my everyday life. I wish I could watch a movie. I used to really like doing that. I wouldn't want anything serious now, no violence, just something that would take my mind off of what's going on in my life. I remember last week, while at my in-laws, I watched some sort of silly family sitcom. Normally I don't watch such stuff. But then it was so good to vegetate for a little bit observing a family dealing with their issues so lightly and with humor.

I wish I could listen to comforting music, turning it up as high as I want. Or maybe I could whine to my close friends about how life is a b$tch. I wish I could paint a peaceful landscape. I really would like to sew or knit if i were better at it. Or I would stroll outside with my awesome camera and capture beautiful moments of life. I wish.

I could do that all, but I wouldn't get away from reality, guilt, my problems. I just can't.