I can tell by your accent.

We've been talking for a few minutes by now. "Are you from Germany?" "No, Ukraine". The guy smiled and added with what seemed like a little bit of pride, "I've noticed by your accent". I didn't know what to say next, so I tried remaining neutral and proceeded with a brief "Okay".

This wasn't anything new. I've had exchanges just like that many, many times
before. "Sorry" - to my great surprise he appologized. I wasn't sure if he figured out that his pointing out about my accent reminded me once again of my "foreignness" and made me a bit insecure. Perhaps, he sensed some sort of slight awkwardness and dropped his "sorry" just in case, but we both kept quiet for a bit before I shrugged, "That's okay".

I sense that there is something wrong with me thinking this way, but the talk I described above reminds me of a situation when a person asks someone else "Hey, do you have Tourette's?" And after they respond positively that person would gladly add,
"I can tell by your tics".

Measuring Up

A: They all seem to have their shit together.

B: And?

A: And I don't.

B: Why are you trying to measure up to other people's shit?

Opening up

Bram paced the classroom, asking students if anyone knew how to fix that certain part of a car I've never heard of before. He seemed pretty desperate, making calls whlie on the job, searching through car articles online and seeking advice from people who clearly didn't have much to offer. I felt bad for the guy, but there really wasn't anything I could do.

Bram and I have been working together for a month or so. He's a few years older than me, a registered Republican, a former frat boy, now going through a quarter-life crisis. Today on top of all of his perceived troubles he learned that his car needs a serious repair.

When someone jokingly brought up Harold Camping's prophecy, Bram simply added "I wouldn't care if the world ended tomorrow. I might as well die".

After classes were over, as we were pushing chairs under the desks, Bram got back on the topic of his car, sliding on the slippery slope of how downright-pathetic his life is."I live with my mom. I don't have a job. My degree gave me nothing. Now my car...Nothing to live for...Do you ever get suicidal thoughts?" He asked it so as-a-matter-of-fact-ly, that I plainly responded, "I do".

Apparently that wasn't the right answer, according to Bram. He turned around, froze for a second, and asked once again, "YOU DO?" At this point I could've backed down and generalized that most everyone at one point or another at least mildly played around with the idea in their head, but I didn't see any incentive to hide the truth, so - "Yes".

I found it a little funny the way he put me on the spot. My life has been going great, and especially at work I can't help it but act as everything is always in control. His question picked up something long-forgotten and honestly admitting it felt so easy as if it wasn't part of me any more. I hope he understood it right. Before I could open my mouth again, someone else walked in and we moved on.

As you wish

A: That reminds me of Princess Bride. Last time I had a manic episode, I was at work, playing a game with a girl I had a crush on. When she asked me something, I responded with "as you wish". She laughed and asked "Tim, do you love me?". And I said "I probably do but if I told you that, it would make you too uncomfortable".

B: What did she say?

A: She knew I wasn't mentally sound at the time. She was the one who called the cops, so I could get off work and go to the hospital to get medication.

C: Women can make you feel quite insane.

"Something about young male elementary school teachers makes them hot."
"What? The fact they are young and male?"

Can we save it?

"When I got married for the second time, there was no love. It was a matter of convenience...You know, I talk to some of my friends who've been married for 15-17 years, and they say it's not at all like it used to be when they were young. They stll say "I love you" to one another, but threre isn't that spark, excitement...just respect."

She stopped, perhaps noticing that I was getting carried away with my own thoughts. I knew exactly what she meant by that youthful passion that I'm blessed to still be enjoying: getting a crush on your husband again and again, longing to randomly kiss him or talk when you're away, and goofing around when you're together. I want to save it.

"Would you say that you love your husband now?"

"I love my life! I love my job. And I love my daughter..."

It seemed that she didn't finish, but she wouldn't go on.

Our last night

We were sitting on the risers left by the huge Christmas tree at my school's memorial union. It was about 1 a.m. The wedding, celebrated above, was coming to an end. You'd see dressed up people, who just a few hours ago were probably all posh and proper, come out sweating and drunk. A rather nice-looking girl in high hills and a mini skirt gleefully went down the stairs, followed by a guy who maybe had a little too much and now was cursing very loudly.

My friend turned his head away from the scene, "Someone is going to get some action." We sat in silence and stared more at the couple, "...and I'm not". I was going to joke and ask how he was so sure, but then decided against it. I knew he wasn't getting any that night.

We didn't talk for a while thinking about our own things and listening to the sound of slow, distant music. It's amazing how comfortable it can be to simply sit together quietly if you are with someone you know very well. There is some sort of connection you feel and no one needs to say anything to acknowledge it.

"I wonder how different my life would be if I wasn't..attractive. You know? Would we be friends?". I looked at my friend waiting for an answer, but he didn't turn, "Yeah...I wouldn't have even started talking to you." He gave a faint smile.

Bastard. I knew he was honest. I smiled too.

Her: Hun, I have an announcement. Tomorrow, on the twenty...whatever the date is, I'm officially starting to lose weight. So I want you to point out if you see me eating...

Him: You are pretty.

Did you ever cut someone off your life who was a friend?

11:28 PM aviator: Yes. A few times

11:29 PM me: Why?

aviator: Why what

me: Why would you shut someone out of your life who was a friend to you?

11:30 PM aviator: I didn't agree with their actions and the path they wanted me to follow them down

11:31 PM me: I see

and you never looked back on those decisions?

aviator: No

Granted if we cuddled I'd probably start rubbing your shoulders.
yeah, and I probably would feel very awkward and would subtly move away :)
And I'd hold you closer
And I'd sigh and stay in your arms
Exactly

me: i feel very confused as to where I'm steering now
swordbreaker: ah, the future is always uncertain. At least be happy that your car is moving instead of stopped on the side of the road.
me: sometimes it seems that it's not moving very well
ok, I guess it is moving, but the driver acts like she's drunk or something
swordbreaker: ha ha ha
that's just the roads here, they wind

She: Hey

He: hello

She: How have you been? haven't talked to you in so long

He: Yeah, well, you got married...

Reconciling after an argument:

SHE: It's so good that we live together!

HE: Yeah, it's much better than being alone.

SHE: I know, I would get a cat.

HE: I would get a girlfriend.

SHE: Right...