Not my day

I sat on the floor beside my desk, the only place that you couldn't see from the hallway through a glass area by the door. My body was trembling. I wanted to punch something or somebody, curse, cry, run, but get that negativity out. It was poisoning. At that point I wasn't exactly sure why I was hurting. Everything turned into a big blur with people walking over me.

So today apparently didn't go that well.

At lunch, while taking care of my in-laws' dog, I almost got in a wreck. My car spinned 180 degrees on a four-lane busy road. My knees were still shaking when I came late to class.

Next were the students. I think I actually might finally finish my teaching endeavors. This means a lot to me. I'm a long-term sub now for a class with the kids who failed their state tests multiple times. The school created a special class this semester to remediate the students, but it isn't that easy to find a teacher for them. My kids are high school sophomores, yet some of them are about to turn 18. Most of them have a hard time telling what's 12 minus 5. Pretty much all of them don't care to learn.

I thought I felt completely crushed when the 7th period was over. I'm not a newbie in this. Subs get to see some of the scariest things going on in schools, but it was getting way too much. My applications to grad schools for teaching seemed completely pathetic in the light of what happened. I closed the door and tried to concentrate on my lesson planning to not cry. It didn't work.

I checked my emails.