Forgive me

Today, in preparation for the Great Lent, Eastern Orthodox Church observed Forgiveness Sunday. The first time I heard about it was in one of my favorite movies, The Barber of Siberia.

Wikipedia explains that:

"Lent itself—begins on the preceding (Sunday) night, at a special service called Forgiveness Vespers, which culminates with the Ceremony of Mutual Forgiveness, at which all present will bow down before one another and ask forgiveness. In this way, the faithful begin Lent with a clean conscience, with forgiveness, and with renewed Christian love."

Today was my first experience of actually participating in the service. People would hold hands, look each other in the eyes and ask for forgiveness. A very tight hug came afterwards. With people I didn't know well or with those who were still young, it didn't have much of an effect. It was incredibly powerful to ask for forgiveness and give it when people genuinely meant it. My eyes got watery when I did it with my husband.

I wish I could practice the ritual -- maybe at least only in my mind -- with some people outside of the church. It brings a lot of peace to know that something you feel bad about is forgiven. One might feel even more relieved letting go and forgiving someone else. It is easier to live and love this way.

I am someone who has trouble letting go, perhaps more so than others, and know way too well that holding a grudge is like tying a rope over your own neck. There are a few people from my past and present, who I wish I could face, give them a firm hug and say with all sincerity, "I forgive you".