The H-word

Does 'hopeless' have a set limit?

Where it bumps into a sticky bottom

Reluctantly acknowledging

that its meaning is exhausted in its full entirety?

Would it matter if it hurt so much

You kind of wished you ached a bit physically

To match at least one ounce

of what you're plunging through internally?

Ice-cold eyes, like a piece of glass,

Staring right though you

Are you even there?

Your tears are sure funny.

Funny as hell.

Help. Why is it never there?

When every grown back bone is broken

You're crushed, wailing, chewing on snot,

Saying His name

In vain.

What did you even expect?

A pair of caring arms

Taking you out of it,

Singing a song, helping you close your eyes

For a while?

Real while

Till you're ever able to say the H-word

The silent word,

making you want to slam your fists

Right into the mirror

to not ever face that face again?

No, it's not "hurt"

or "hate" or "hopeless",

"happy", "hungover"

It's "HU-MI-LI-A-TION".

Writing "failure" and "weakness"

all over your back.

And you're back

With your multiple 'WHY's

Trying to rescue "respect", "worth, "dignity"

And you know

that they'll never be answered.

Why do you even ask?