Awful wonderful or how I tried to not breath so fast

I feel like the greatest idiot on the planet. It's been about two or three hours and I still can't sit down for too long. My heart is racing and I keep wanting to jump like a jack rabbit in heat. "Shit!", - yeah,that comes out once in a while, as well. I am happy, very much so, maybe just as much as I am embarrassed and wanting to feel awful or not feel anything at all. Shit. I prayed a few times and cried with remorse. It must be sick. I can't even share.