Should I be ashamed?

I just had an epiphany. That wonderful aha! moment, when all those stupid puzzle pieces that didn't go together just a second ago, suddenly line up and form a perfect picture. Love it!

I had sex with a friend last week. For the first time in my life I had sex with someone but my soul mate.

//Before you all make a load of assumptions about me cheating, let me hurriedly explain something. I am in an open relationship, open marriage to be more precise. I love my husband with all my heart. Just because we have a different definition of faithfulness than most of you, it doesn't make us cheaters. If you are still with me not feeling all disgusted and pissed off, I appreciate your open-mindedness. If not, I respect you having a different opinion, though you should keep in mind that there is plenty of other stuff to read online without bashing on my blog.//

Back to the part where I slept with my friend. It went great and there were no regrets. Until...//I'm sure those of you who should've left but decided to stick around, were thrilled to see that 'until' part//one of my close friends, being in a terrible mood, referred to that night's events very rudely. Now, if you've read this or know me at least a little, you won't be surprised that I didn't just dismiss the offense. Moreover, after a while it made me feel guilty, filthy, and just plain bad. That wonderful light experience I had last weekend turned into something to be ashamed of. But why?

I went back and force with my reasoning trying to resolve a conflict within me until...//that's right, there is another, this time triumphant 'until'//I found Hope's blog. Can it be more mind-blowing to find someone that strikingly similar to you? I couldn't stop reading. At the same time there was more realization that this is what I believe, yet I'm too afraid to confront society preaching the virtue of monogamy. Here are Hope's reflections on her sexual experiences:

"I chose to have sex with many different people. An experience I never wish to take back. I learned so much and loved so deeply. Each one of my lovers taught me something, whether it be about sex itself, about being hurt, being loved, letting go and healing, or taking back my power and saving my soul."

Wouldn't I be happy to feel this way in many years, to know that my life was rich and full? There was nothing wrong with that random play. It didn't harm anybody. It was yet another experience that helped me understand the world, and I shouldn't be ashamed of going for it. I knew it all along.

When there are so many people telling you how to live, it is stunning that only one voice could still be enough to help you find yourself and guide you back to your senses. I am thankful, Hope.