Do you hear me?

Hi Kari,

It's been almost two years. Two long years with so many things happening. Remember that redheaded guy from the academic teams? I married him. Oh, and Zack went to India. He keeps himself busy, I'm so impressed with the way he's been handling things.

I went to a dancing rehearsal about a year and a half ago, same group you used to dance with. They dedicated a whole performance to you, showing a slide show with your pictures on the background. I sobbed through the entire dance. So glad the audience section was dark.

I saw your mom then. She lost a lot of weight, but it looks like she's learned to live with the reality by now. We saw each other in one lonesome hallway. I thought of saying something to her, but I didn't know how. Didn't know if she would feel better if I told her how I miss you and how I wish I could help your family somehow. I just looked her in the eyes and never managed to say a word. I think your mom knew.

So many people miss you, Kari. There is a video on YouTube with your pictures. I can't help smiling whenever I see your cheerful face. You were so beautiful, so alive and fun-loving.

I remember you would sit right in front of me in French. You know how when you sit behind someone in class, and it's not particularly interesting there, you get to look at their hair a lot? I always thought your hair was beautiful. Just like your character. You were one of those safe people to me. Thank you so much for answering all the stupid, difficult, and sometimes embarrassing questions I asked you. I admired your ability to handle yourself. You were so nice, patient, and friendly, yet you weren't anything close to a fake. Remember when we met on campus? You didn't know I was back in the states. You had that priceless look on your face making me feel like a ghost.

I really miss you, Kari. To tell you the truth, I think of you more often now after that fatal wreck. I wonder if I would've done anything differently that last time I saw you. Would I urge you to ditch all classes and go do something insane together? Would I tell you something I never said before? Would I ask you to not go anywhere on Zack's birthday? Probably not. I'm just glad I got my last hug and got to see your bright smile one more time.

I will remember you, Kari.