How do I forget about you?

Hey you -- yes, it includes you, there, in front of the computer, checking out my blog. You made me write this post. I want you to read this one till the end. Will you, please?

Now, as I got a very small, but loyal army of readers, I start feeling it again. EXPECTATION. This evil concept is encroaching at me with every frequent visitor I get. As I see that people regularly check my blog and, more importantly, as I get to develop some form of relationship with them, I feel like I can't be as free, writing whatever's on my mind...and there is something.

So odd. Finding people interested in what I'm sharing and getting to know them, was one of the primary reasons for creating this blog. I didn't realize then that keeping on writing once I achieve the goal even remotely, would be such a challenge.

I type. I edit. I delete or save. Publish? Maybe not.

Just like a teen who tries so hard to fit in and ends up making a fool out of themselves, I know that my blog loses its charm when I think too much about what others will think. I hate it, but I can't resist. How do I forget about you? How do I not care? This whole blogging thing is meant to help me come to terms with who I am. Honest, direct, and oftentimes not pretty. That's how I want to keep it here. Though at times I'd rather wear a mask.