A Sail
Afar sail shimmers, white and lonely,

Through the blue haze above the foam.

What does it seek in foreign harbors?

What has it left behind at home?

The billows romp, and the wind whistles.

The rigging swings, the tall mast creaks.

Alas, it is not joy he flees from,

Nor is it happiness he seeks.

Below, the seas like blue light flowing,

Above, the sun's gold streams increase,

But it is storm the rebel asks for,

As though in storms were peace.

Mikhail Lermontov

(Translated by Deutsch and Yarmolinsky)

It's interesting how we humans are rarely content with what we've got, never at peace. We think we want money, we get it and search for something else. We struggle to get a life partner, but then moan about all the problems that come along with a serious relationship. Success, wealth, love, stability, recognition, you name it. There is always something else you wish you had. Sure sometimes it comes. But as soon as you reach the top, there is a new mountain to conquer. Just like with that sail, here you've got nice weather for navigation, why would it want something different? But it does...and I do.

My employment situation, the issue that's been bringing so much stress unto me, is getting much better finally. It is still not what I wanted. Not what I thought I would be doing, not enough hours, not...could go on, but I'd rather not. That's just silly.

Even though those jobs I'm taking aren't prestigious and for one of them I'm definitely overqualified, I am happy to do that..at least for now. I was even kind of embarrassed at first to tell people about my new jobs. Got some chuckles about that one position, but it really shouldn't matter. Whatever they say about the work being dull, I want to do a good job, I want to care, and I think I will like it.