The whole last week was like some sort of sick endurance test that's still not over. Every day I get up and think I can. And then I'm told that I can't...not just told.

Truth be told, I've been wondering why is it that my parents decided not to abort me or why can't a fatal accident just happen to me. I've been questioning my worth as a human being, feeling inferior, not seeing the light, wondering why to keep living.

I know this is so, so wrong to think that, and the people around me would be very hurt if something happened. The mere fact that I'm at the stage where I am having those thoughts puts me down.

I know there is a purpose for me, perhaps something that I haven't discovered yet. I know I have love for people and can make a good difference in their lives if I try. I know that God is by my side. I know that even when someone, whose opinion matters most, is hurting me, when he is disappointed with how I am, he still loves me like nobody else and I need to be there for him. I know. I guess I just forget sometimes.